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(( I was bored, decided to write something...))

''Since before I can remember, I've been scared of death, and whatever happens after...''

''So... I did everything to prevent it, I invested everything I owned, every second of my time, and I surrendered the life meant for me, to be granted life eternal.''

''I succeded, I was granted perfect immortality, I don't age, I don't require, nor need anything to remain alive... I was the only one back at earth who wanted this however... I think I understand why now.''

No words are spoken, no sound is heard.
I float through the endless and infinte space once again.

I no longer recall my age, but I'm certain it's been over several billions of years since my birth.

I recall my friends growing old, and burying my family, again and again.

At first it was painful, but life went on... after the hundreth time however, I was dulled and left an emotionless void, no longer feeling the need of any affection or social interactions, it was just too painful...

''I did not think this through...''

Life was too painful... but I couldn't end it... after all I'm immortal.
Hanging myself just strangled me, it was painful and horrifying, but no matter how long I dangled from the rope tied around one of the solid oak beams holding up the roof, the roof would sooner collapse.

Pills didn't affect me, rendering me intoxicated sure, but not dead.

Eventually the earth died... from what I don't recall anymore. I remember walking along the scorched earth, as the sun exploded, and the supernova crumbled the earth, and life ceased be.

Except for me, the first time was horrifying and painful, as the earth was destroyed and I remained floating through space, through years, and years.

My lungs flattned from the lack of air and oxygen, and although my thirst was unquenched and I starved for millions of years, I wasn't dying... I was just in pain... horrible pain.

Until I eventually got near enough another planet, and pulled from orbit to the nearest planet, and had to wait for it to crumble, before once again being stuck in space.

I got used to it though, the pain, and the boredom.

I landed on barren planets with gravity exceeding the earths by atleast 10 times over, more than once, the impact from the fall, leaving me groaning and crying out in pain, but no sound escaped, and I laid there, waiting for the process to begin again.

I've walked on the surfaces of suns, expereinced pain beyond my comprehension, trying to inhale the hot air, as the fire scorched me, and the mind numbing noise from the fire made me experience insanity again and again, until the sun exploded once again leaving me in space.

A black hole once consumed me, the gravitational pull sucking me in, as I felt like I was ripped and torn in half, but I remained none the less.

''I don't know if an afterlife exist... I was certain it didn't... but the only thing I can cling to is hoping I eventually die and discover it myself.''

I remember the first time i landed on a planet, and after the pain from the fall, I recalled the sensation of oxygen filling my lungs. I cried for hours, thinking it was finally over, I found animals and eventually, even sentient intelligent life, I taught them English, and shared my knowledge that could apply to this world, I was granted some form of social interactions and I felt... happy again... which only made it hurt more when the planet died, and it's people along with it.

''I don't know how many times this has happened, all of this happening again and again, a million years of respite feels like a mere minute now, and my fear of death has completely gone away, I imagine that when the universe ends, maybe I will too? ... Atleast that's what I hope for... but like death itself, I'm uncertain of it.''
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