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ESSAY #1: John Kerry is the Snow Miser

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#1
John Kerry served as Secretary of State under President Barack Obama, the 68th Secretary of State the country ever had. As with every other politician, Kerry was the subject of countless scandals that shook the very base of the Obama Administration. But of all the scandals, no one ever realized that John Kerry was a beloved cartoon character in disguise - the Snow Miser.



I will begin with a comparison on physical features, as I am sure that the physicality is the most obvious piece of evidence. Using the above image, take a few seconds to observe those chins. Kerry's chin is strong, long, and pointed. It almost reminds me of the Crimson Chin. Now look at the Miser's. Strong, long, pointed, and still Crimson Chin-esque, just like John Kerry's. Now take a look at the subject's noses. Both noses are far above the mouth, pointed, and at unaverage lengths. Beyond that, the simple shapes and size of the heads are the exact same. High cheekbones, deepened jaws. It is also worth noting that Kerry's hair would look like the Snow Miser's on a bad day. The only negative aspect are the eyes. Snow Miser's are very close together while John Kerry's are very far apart. For the sake of continuity we'll blame that on simple animating issues.

Moving on, according to an article on Investor's Business Daily, John Kerry used his political power to illegally enrich his own family. This tells us one special thing about Kerry: he sincerely loves his family. Who does this remind you of? That's right, the Snow Miser. His whole story arc is centered around his dysfunctional, but loving, family. Even though he has a poor relationship with him, the Snow Miser openly admits that he would do anything for his brother - including breaking American law.*

*John's brother Cameron Kerry and the Heat Miser don't seem to be very much alike, but that doesn't hurt my case.


The information from Investor's Business Daily also tells us something else about Kerry: he is obsessed with power. He was one of the leading members of the Executive Cabinet for nearly a decade, so that should explain itself. But who else is notorious for being obsessed with power? The Snow Miser. He controls nearly half of the weather on earth. In his eyes, if it is cold, then it is his. In Kerry's eyes, if it is government expendable, then it is his. The resemblance is overwhelming.

I would also like to point out that John Kerry has been described as "cold-hearted" on many separate occasions. He claims that sometimes you must act cold- heartedly in the business of politics. But is that really all it is? Cold-hearted? Snow Miser? This simply cannot be a coincidence.

Furthermore, if none of that is good enough for you, take a long gander at this.



Stay w0ke, fam.
 
Last edited:

Fallout God

Fallout God of Assassin's Effect
#5
John Kerry served as Secretary of State under President Barack Obama, the 68th Secretary of State the country ever had. As with every other politician, Kerry was the subject of countless scandals that shook the very base of the Obama Administration. But of all the scandals, no one ever realized that John Kerry was a beloved cartoon character in disguise - the Snow Miser.



I will begin with a comparison on physical features, as I am sure that the physicality is the most obvious piece of evidence. Using the above image, take a few seconds to observe those chins. Kerry's chin is strong, long, and pointed. It almost reminds me of the Crimson Chin. Now look at the Miser's. Strong, long, pointed, and still Crimson Chin-esque, just like John Kerry's. Now take a look at the subject's noses. Both noses are far above the mouth, pointed, and at unaverage lengths. Beyond that, the simple shapes and size of the heads are the exact same. High cheekbones, deepened jaws. It is also worth noting that Kerry's hair would look like the Snow Miser's on a bad day. The only negative aspect are the eyes. Snow Miser's are very close together while John Kerry's are very far apart. For the sake of continuity we'll blame that on simple animating issues.

Moving on, according to an article on Investor's Business Daily, John Kerry used his political power to illegally enrich his own family. This tells us one special thing about Kerry: he sincerely loves his family. Who does this remind you of? That's right, the Snow Miser. His whole story arc is centered around his dysfunctional, but loving, family. Even though he has a poor relationship with him, the Snow Miser openly admits that he would do anything for his brother - including breaking American law.*

*John's brother Cameron Kerry and the Heat Miser don't seem to be very much alike, but that doesn't hurt my case.


The information from Investor's Business Daily also tells us something else about Kerry: he is obsessed with power. He was one of the leading members of the Executive Cabinet for nearly a decade, so that should explain itself. But who else is notorious for being obsessed with power? The Snow Miser. He controls nearly half of the weather on earth. In his eyes, if it is cold, then it is his. In Kerry's eyes, if it is government expendable, then it is his. The resemblance is overwhelming.

I would also like to point out that John Kerry has been described as "cold-hearted" on many separate occasions. He claims that sometimes you must act cold- heartedly in the business of politics. But is that really all it is? Cold-hearted? Snow Miser? This simply cannot be a coincidence.

Furthermore, if none of that is good enough for you, take a long gander at this.



Stay w0ke, fam.
My God! How did you come to this understanding without using BS Logic (Logic Log, Log Minecraft, Minecraft Creeper, Creeper Creepy, Logic is Creepy)?????

Truly ahead of his time. If it were not for you we may have never known the truth.....
 

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